Who hasn't casually dreamt of taking out one of history's most infamous, stogie-smoking d✱ictators with a high-powered bowgun? Well, lucky for all you only semi sociopathic dreamers, Call of Duty: Black Ops will not only let you kill the hell out of Fidel Castro, but will also reward you with an Achievement/Trophy for taking out the crooked Cuban with a single round.

Above: Yeah, we'd be pretty pissed too if there was a game out there that rewarded folk for killing us

If you do manage to go all one shot (God, I love the Deer Hunter) on Castro’s ass, you’ll be given the Death to Dictators Achievement/Trophy and will unlock 15 Gamer Points/a bronze Sony-sponsored pot, depending onꦇ whether you’re playing on 360🍌 or PS3.

Above: Hopefully Fidel will follow Hitler's mech-inspired lead from Wolfenstein

Seemingly channelling the poultry-slaꦺughtering 🍨reward from Modern Warfare 2, the game will also reward folk who like to shoot helpless critters. In the firing line this time is the poor monkey. The aptly named ‘I hate monkeys’ challenge will again, give you 15 points/a Bronze trophy, for taking out seven of the furry ass-scratchers in under ten seconds.

Above: Won’t somebody think of the fat-ass monkeys!?

Interestingly, one of the awards is called ‘Some wounds never heal’, which is doled out for escaping the past. Now to us, this sounds like we could well have a flashback mission on our hands in Black Ops. Please be as good as Ghillies in the Mist. Please 🐼be as good as Ghillies in the Mist. Please be as good…

Above: Captain Price looking seriously sexy sporting sniper chic

Oct 1, 2010