It should surprise no one, except maybe a select group of highly-excitable mothers, that EA and Visceral are working on Dead Space 3, but we thought we should let you know that, though no official ann﷽ouncement has been made, the game is pretty much definitely being produced.

the Goldman Sachs Technology and Internet Conference, EA CEO John Riccitiello excluded Dead Space from a list of E🍌A's "strong, growing francꦉhises," because, "it will probably take Dead Space 3 before we get into that five million unit cadence."

ꦡClearly, Riccitiello wouldn't have mentioned the game i💜f it wasn't planned. And that's it. That's the whole story.

Well, that was short. This article can't just end here - I mean, you clicked! You, t🎉he literate public, clicked a link, and now you demand to be satisfied with more words about things! Well, let's see...

?). Ted Danson was getting all uppity about some everyday frustration while I was trying to deliv🐠er him a cake. Oh, and Ted Danson wasn't Becker-era Ted Danson, he was 🍌present day, gets-mistaken-for-Ron-Perlman Ted Danson.

Anyway, he just wouldn't acknowledge that I had a cake for him. He started ranting about Reggie's new boyfriend or something, and just wouldn't shut up about it. It was a pretty great-looking cake, too, with chocolate swirls and fondant flowers and all that jazzy cake stuff. So I started getting frustrated, right, because who wouldn't? Well, my dream-self wasn't going to take it anymore, so I smashed the whole cak🏅e right on his massive forehead. Suck it, Becker!

Obviously, I needed an escape plan, but lucky for me, I didn't need, or even have, a moment to think about it - at the very instant I cake-attacked Becker, I discovered and executed the secre⛦t to becoming unstuck from space and time a la Billy Pilgrim. I was instantly flung far, far away from the surprisingly-still-rerun sitcom. I twisted and turned through rippling planes of meta-reality, peering down (or was it up? or diagonal-ways?) at the corporeal as they fretted over bills, relationships, and unusually-shaped moles on their thighs. I breathed fathomless breaths of glistening non-air which inflated my newbody li🎉ke Kirby's rotund fuselage, and each exhalation ejected puffs of cartoon-style smoke which propelled me deeper into the well of my psyche.

And when I reached the bottom of that well, where my mind's nucleus quietly vibrates in absolute darkness, someone said something about Dead Space 3, so I woke up and went to work and wrote t💎his article about it.

Feb 16, 2011