Whereas the original (2011) boasted both stars and budget, this sequel has to survive on gall – and gore – alone.

The year is 1221 and Tom Rhys Harries’ family castle is under attack from bloodthirsty Celts, so he hires kick-ass cousin Tom Austen and his (very) dirty (quarter) dozen (including promising newcomer Twinnie Lee Moore) to sway this repetitive, understaffed siege directed by Jonathan English.

When they aren’tꦡ fighting (not bad), they’re talking about fighting (bad). Add in a fair few unintentionally funny lines, a lot of mascara and some atrocious dubbing; and what should have 🥃been a quick, exciting medieval skirmish starts to feel like the 100 Years War.