Hospitality!

Playe🅘r One dons nondescript waiter's garb, before o🦂ffering his opponent a tasty crab puff. Said puff is stuffed with nitroglycerin.

Immaturity!

Player One breaks su൩personic wind on their opponent, putrefying them🌼 instantly.

Infidelity!

In a shocking twist, Player One announces Player two's real parentage live on TV, Jerry Springer-style. They em🔴brace, so💦bbing.

Ingenuity!

With no unique weapons to h♊and, Player One manages to MacGyver together a chainsaw out of toothpicks and old shoes.

Insanity!

Player Two is forced to decide distinguish butter from I Can't Believe it's Not Butter, a 🐻decision that ultimately renders him quite mad.

Legality!

Player One's lawyer takes a good, long look at the MK ♐tourney's laundry list of health and safety violations. The 'kontest' is promptly closed down. Shao Khan is arrested, and later shanked to death in the prison block showers.

Likeability!

Playe꧟r One morphs into Chr🥃is Pratt. All is made well.

Liquidity!

Player Oꦏne summons up a gigantic blender, before dicing their opponent into a nutritiousᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ⁤⁤⁤⁤ᩚ⁤⁤⁤⁤ᩚ⁤⁤⁤⁤ᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚ gore chunk smoothie.

Maternity!

Player One rounds up the old babality gang and convinces them to eviscerate Player Two. Authorities later find the victim with a baby ratt🐭le implanted in his windpipe.

Modernity!

Player One destroys Player Tw💙o in the ♚most modern way possible, by releasing several naked pics of them onto Instagram.