Responsibility!

Player One accepts the blame for the whole silly argument, and the two 'kompetitors' skip off into🌱 the sun♕set.

Senility!

Player One forgets why he came here, and what exactly he was doing. Player Two begins humming the tune to 'A long way to Tippe💙rary'.

Serendipity!

Player One tears open Playe🐷r two's abdomen, revealing a badly swollen appendix. Player Two has it promptly removed, and everyone goes for ice cream.

Sexuality!

[DESCRIPTION REDACTED]

Sincerity!

Player One pays Player Two a heartfelt complemen🦩t. They hug it out꧙.

Sterility!

Player One reveals to Player Two wh📖y he cannot perform a babality.

Stupidity!

Player One recalls that time Player Two asked how many quarters there were in a basketball game𒐪, much to the amusement of the assembled 'kast' of 'kharacters'. Player Two slowly ambles off home for a good cry.

Suitability!

Player One arranges a marriage for Player Two, despite the ✨fact that Player Two definitely, properly loves someone else. Probably someone lowborn yet dashing. It's the plotline to every period drama ever made. But with more spines.

Sustainability!

Player One smugly lectures Player Two on th🧸e benefits🙈 of going green. Player Two opts to compost himself.

Technicality!

Referees rush the stage to announce that Player Two is wearing the wrong sort of shoe grips, or friendship🌼 bracelets, or maybe u𒁏nderpants, and is therefore disqualified.