5. Pet Pals: Animal Doctor (DS, released Feb. 5)
Before we show you this one, take a look at the box for the same title on💞 the Wii:
It’s not exactly pretty, but there’s nothing really wrong with it. It looks like aꦚ kiddie game about he🦩lping animals should.
This, though…
This looks like the waiting room of Hell’s cruelest veterinarian. Waxy faces with shadowy complexions, looming angles and a grim color palette give the viewer an oppressive sense of claustrophobia. The stethoscope is easily mistaken for veins at first glance, giving that heart an uncomfortably re💦alistic look.
On top of that, there’s no way that particular combination of animals could be unrestrained, in an enclosed space, without a bloody mess ensuing in short order. And that trucker in the foreground is totally about to feed his rabbit to that dog.
Bonus alternate caption! “OH GOD WHA🌊T ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE DOING IN MY APARTM🌱ENT!?”
4. Backyard Baseball ’09 (DS, released March 25)
No amount of grinning c♏an convince us that the monstrous head of David &✨ldquo;Big Papi” Ortiz and its floating cartoon sidekick aren’t about to bite our faces off and swallow them without chewing.
3. Kitty Luv (Wii, released Nov. 6)
Congratulations, Activision: you’ve managed to tap into the collective psyche of every lonely little girl and sex🍰ually repressed office lady on the planet. Package it with a calendar, and the world is yours.
2. Air Traffic Chaos (DS, released Sept. 11)
This box practically trips over itself in a mad rush to look ridiculous, but it’s worth taking a look at the multitude of exact points at which this airline disaster-themed puzzle game, released on Sept. 11, 2008, goes horribly wrong. We surrender the floor at this point to Nintendo Editor Brett Elston, who’s 澳洲幸运5开奖号码历史查询:already done a bang-up job making fun of it:
1 – Chaos is the largest, most visible thing on the package. Again, airport chaos on or around 9/11 probably isn’t the smartest choice
2 – That airliner is doing a loop. Assume those people are dead
3 – The controller is announcing what he is, on the box, in case the huge title and plain image of an airport wasn’t enough
4 – Despite saying he’s an air traffic controller, his facial expression and nervous sweat drops indicate he’s faking it, which explains problem number 2 AND...
5 - ...the fact that this plane is SIDEWAYS
6 – And he has three fingers on each hand!
1. Imagine: Party Babyz (Wii, released Nov. 11)
No. No! NO! NO! NOOOO!!!
If you could somehow draw a picture of the sound made when a game journalist’s mind , it would look like this. If you could distill everything wrong with the casual-gaming movement into a single image – every horrible minigame, every half-assed “girl” game, every misguided purchase by a well-intentioned grandmother, every cynical piece of shovelware ever shat onto a store shelf by some fly-by-night cabal of predatory monsters - this would be that image.
Also? “Babies” is misspelled.
Dec 11, 2008
Take a l💜ook back at the 1🦂5 games that fuglied up store shelves the most this year
Seriously, it wasn't us!
The blandest, dullest and all-around 🍎boring-estꦡ covers we could find
It's not just bad, it com🍬pletely misses the point
