Sensationalise me

Remember that short-lived Twitter fad #explainafilmplotbadly? Yes, well, you can rest assured that this piece of hard-hitting investigative journalism is absolutely, 100-percent dissimilar. No wait it's exactly the same. Of course there are a number of minor caveats to consider. For one, not all of these entries are 'bad'🐼 - some are simply undercooked - while others remain plain old ignorant. Think of it like a giant resource centre for tabloid news rags and outraged parents' groups. Vis-a-vis "I know I left my son at that broken glass factory officer, but damnit, if I can't blame my personal failings on the latest GTA, then what can I blame?"

So, if you're on a deadline, need a scapegoa♔t, or fancy fabricating a fresh and tasty moral ouꦗtrage, why not give this handy guide a go? There's enough badly described plotlines for everyone! Hurray!

The Walking Dead

A convicted killer takes a🍨 young girl on a hugely dan🌱gerous hike.

Final Fantasy X

A star athle🌳te pursues his abusive father through time. Daddy is a genocﷺidal whale beast.

Splinter Cell

Gymnastic 50-something dons black ♋spandex outf🌱it; chokes men.

The Last of Us

Grizzled killer escortsꦍ vulnerable girl through disorderly garden centre.

Star Wars: Bounty Hunter

Softly spoken mercenary assassinates deranged w🍷oman in order to procure a son.

Abe's Odyssey

Low-income employee discovers staff cuts, skives off work with hisღ 🍎buds.

Crash Bandicoot

Mutant marsupial kills dozens of animals in order to punish reckless scientist for hဣarming𒈔 animals.

Mass Effect

Space age sailor goes from port ༺to port, seeking out desperate ladies / men / blue things with whom to do♏ck his ship.

Halo

Unstoppable super sol🍨dier escorts lunatic A.I. to humanity's most-vulnerable hotspots.